The World as We Know It?

The world is round, the world is blue and green, the world is our home. Is it? The world as we know it, the world we've been told exists is slowly disappearing into the world we've experienced. We're told Christopher Columbus was the first person to discover the Americas. Now raise your hand if you still believe that pile of bullshit that was shoved down our throats. As we grow, the story is retold and re-evaluated until we are finally told, oh no, actually it was some other people. The fucking Norse made it there more than three hundred years before Columbus even said, "Oh hey, I'm gonna go sail this-a-way to India."

I mean really, how does the human brain even conceptualize something so huge? The answer: IT CAN'T! Seriously though, stop and think about this.  The Earth's radius is on average 3,959 miles, that's just from the center to the surface, and that's not even taking into account that the Earth isn't even a fucking sphere like we're taught. It actually bulges out in the middle. So double that number and that's the width of the Earth on AVERAGE. Now think about everything that is on and in this planet. Just think, and when you're ready meet me at the next paragraph

All done? Okay, now think about all those times you've said, "you're the most important person to me in the world." Or at least something similar. Now ask yourself, are you sure? Really, out of the entire fucking 196,935,000 square miles of surface area, they're the most important thing to you? If the answer is yes, then congratulations, you no longer have to ever worry again. You've just eliminated over 196 million square miles of Earth for the space where that loved one is. Yes, no single person can possibly cover a single square mile, except maybe a few fat people, Sally Struthers, Rosie O'Donnell, I'm looking at you two fat fucks. Seriously though, all joking aside. Who said I was joking? That person has basically become the center of your 196 million squared miles of Earth.

You're universe has just moved from being Heliocentric to being "person-centric". Not many people can actually claim to know everything on this Earth, in fact I doubt there is a person who can, however you can now claim to know the most important thing on Earth. To you maybe, to me, I like money, guns, bombs, chaos in general (insert generic evil laugh here). The point I am trying to make here folks is that the world as you know it, or at least the World as you need to know it has shrunk considerably. It has shrunk to probably a few feet squared, unless your focus is something a bit bigger than a person. MAN THE HARPOONS!!

This means that now whenever the Earth is "in trouble" all you have to do is turn to this person and make sure they're okay. If everyone had someone they could attach this claim to, well I don't think the world would ever be in as much trouble as people say it always is, especially if the world you know only needs ice cream and a back rub to be okay. Back rubs make every thing okay, they are the tools of God...if he exists.
I am actually going to dedicate this to my own personal "World".
She knows who she is, and she always knows where her "World" is.

Now go out and find your own world so that everyone can live a little safer.

-The Mad Hatter.